🎙️ Why Advisors Lose Momentum with Good Prospects and How to Fix It
In this episode of the Advisors Business Hour, Sherry Sarber Johnson and Jeff Mount break down one of the most overlooked causes of stalled deals: misreading the psychology of your prospects.
If you’ve ever had a strong prospect go silent, delay a decision, or “need to think about it” after a great meeting—this episode explains exactly why it happens and how to fix it.
Why advisors lose momentum with good prospects
Many advisors rely on what has worked in the past—scripts, presentations, and proven processes.
But here’s the problem:
➡️ Not every prospect thinks, decides, or responds the same way.
When advisors fail to recognize this, conversations become generic, trust weakens, and momentum fades.
As Jeff explains, successful advisors don’t wait until the end to close—they address objections and emotional concerns throughout the process.
Why understanding social styles changes everything
A key concept discussed in this episode is identifying a prospect’s social style, which determines how they:
- Communicate
- Process information
- Make decisions
The four core styles include:
Driver
Fast-paced, results-driven, and decisive.
They want efficiency and control.
Expressive
Story-driven and enthusiastic.
They respond to vision and inspiration.
Amiable
Relationship-focused and trusting.
They rely heavily on others for validation.
Analytical
Detail-oriented and cautious.
They require data and time to decide.
Recognizing these styles allows advisors to adapt their communication in real time, dramatically improving engagement and trust.
The biggest mistake advisors make with amiable prospects
This is one of the most powerful insights from the episode.
Amiable prospects often:
- Agree with everything
- Show positive signals
- Appear ready to move forward
Then suddenly say:
👉 “I want to run this by someone first.”
At that point, the deal is usually lost.
Why?
Because the real decision influencer wasn’t included early—and that person will naturally resist or question the recommendation.
The fix:
Ask early:
“Is there anyone you rely on for advice that we should include in this conversation?”
This single question can completely change your close rate.
Tactical empathy: uncover objections before they stall the deal
Another key strategy discussed is tactical empathy.
Instead of waiting for objections at the end, advisors should surface them during the process.
Examples:
- “It sounds like you’re concerned about timing—is that right?”
- “What’s your biggest hesitation right now?”
Then:
- Repeat back what you hear
- Clarify concerns
- Address them early
This builds trust and prevents last-minute resistance.
Why slowing down actually increases closing rates
Many advisors try to push deals forward too quickly—especially with decisive prospects.
But here’s the reality:
👉 If trust isn’t fully built, the prospect will walk—even if everything else is correct.
Jeff highlights that even “driver” personalities need:
- Proof
- Confidence
- Emotional alignment
Momentum isn’t about speed.
It’s about alignment and trust.
A real-world example: $80M won by not rushing
One advisor applied these principles in a high-stakes opportunity.
During meetings with a wealthy family:
- He was asked rapid-fire questions
- Instead of forcing answers, he paused the meeting
- Took time to process
- Returned with thoughtful responses
What he didn’t realize?
👉 He was being tested.
Other advisors rushed and failed.
He slowed down, demonstrated awareness, and won the business:
💰 $80 million in assets under management
The most common reason momentum breaks
Across all scenarios, the root issue is simple:
➡️ Advisors focus on their process
➡️ Instead of adapting to the prospect
When communication doesn’t match how someone thinks, trust weakens—and momentum disappears.
Timestamps
- 00:00 – Introduction to client psychology
- 01:00 – Why social styles matter in closing
- 03:00 – The 4 social styles explained
- 07:30 – Real-world advisor mistakes
- 08:00 – The “brother” scenario (lost deals explained)
- 10:00 – How to involve decision influencers
- 15:00 – Results from applying these strategies
- 16:00 – Tactical empathy explained
- 18:00 – Why slowing down wins deals
- 19:00 – $80M real-world case study
- 22:00 – Reading behavioral cues
Key takeaways
- Most lost deals are caused by misaligned communication—not price
- Identifying social styles improves connection and trust
- Amiable prospects require early inclusion of decision influencers
- Tactical empathy helps uncover hidden objections
- Slowing down builds trust and increases close rates
- Momentum comes from alignment, not pressure
Transcript
[00:00:00] Welcome back to the Advisors Business Hour. For each episode, we dive into the heart and hustle of building your dream practice. I’m Sherry Sarber Johnson with Beneficial Business Solutions, and I’m back again with the one and only Jeff Mount, president of Cadis, LLC.
[00:00:18] You told me up so well, Sherry. Thank you. Well, I wanted to also add that we like to call you the advisor to advisors, because that’s. That’s what you are. I appreciate that. And today we’re discussing the psychology of motivating clients and prospects. This is a really interesting topic and I know a lot of people are anxious to hear what we’ve got to say.
[00:00:43] And, with that, Jeff, I wanna go ahead and turn the floor over to you for an intro into what do you would like to cover today. So this is when I do the wisdom training program. This is probably everyone’s favorite part. It’s hard [00:01:00] and it requires a lot of practice, but being able to successfully identify someone’s social style, keeping in mind what will motivate that person to really open up and be honest with you about what’s on their mind and what’s in their heart.
[00:01:16] It does require a lot of practice, a lot of role play. No one likes role play, but it works. It teaches you. And of course. It minimizes the monumental task of closing the sale because you’re doing it along the way. You’re addressing all the challenges that are in their head, in their heart as you’re communicating.
[00:01:39] And of course your language should be always speaking to that motivating ideal factor. And we’ll talk about some scenarios in a second, but I think you’ll find in most advisors, once they master this they’re well on their way. Yeah. We’ve all been in situations where it feels like we’re dealing with, somebody reading from a script or they’re not [00:02:00] really connecting with us. Yeah. They’re not really uncovering what it is that we’re there for. And I think it’s easy for any of us to fall into that trap when we’re dealing with other people who are potential clients or prospects because we might have things that have worked well so well with the majority of people that we miss, that we’re dealing with someone completely different and that they, they’re going to respond the way that their personality and their social style dictates.
[00:02:30] And we need to be aware first and foremost the person and what their needs are, but also how they’re going to hear the words that we wanna say and be able to tweak it. It is. I think it’s. Also important to note that once you successfully identify that social style and you start speaking to the motivator, you can almost predict what they’re gonna say next, which is quite frankly a nice place to be.
[00:02:58] Yeah. So of course that [00:03:00] leads us into the question like how in the world do we figure that out? What are ways that an advisor can dial into their prospect’s motivating factors? There are probably about 12 different ways of doing this.
[00:03:13] I’ve chosen to, to really adopt probably one of the oldest, which is from Wilson Learning Uhhuh, where you have four social styles, driver expressive, Amy Bowl and analytic. And the way you figure out which one everyone is you draw the four boxes, you have your and you write outside the box.
[00:03:34] On the upper, or I should say on the right side, is going to be tell assertive on the left side. It’ll be ask assertive. On the top. Just above the boxes will be task oriented. And of course that the bottom will be people oriented. Then it’s just a matter of looking at physical cues, looking at listen to verbal cues and start to test your assumptions.
[00:03:58] Don’t jump too [00:04:00] quickly to say, I know what that person is, because you might be wrong. And that, that does happen. And not all these physical clues always work, but it is interesting. And I imagine, go ahead. Oh no, I was just thinking that I would imagine that some people might fall more towards the center where they may appear different in different situations.
[00:04:20] You’d be surprised actually the best salespeople fit fall right in the middle. ’cause they’re very chameleon or at least that’s the way they’re perceived. And what’s important to note is what you think you are in terms of a social style really doesn’t matter. What matters is what everybody else think you are.
[00:04:39] I’ve had more than a few people say I’m a driver. And then when you get people they, they work with or live with around them, they go, no, you’re not. You’re an amiable. Which is the polar opposite of a driver. I think the worst is when you’ve got a driver that says, thinks that they’re amiable and they’re nothing.
[00:04:57] That’s happened too. That’s definitely [00:05:00] happened too. No, it’s so easy to get along with and you’re like no feel looked in the mirror. And that does bring up a really important point. You don’t wanna make, excuse me, assumptions Yeah. That are in line with stereotypes. I’ll just share a funny story with when I first went through this training.
[00:05:19] 25 years ago at least. I had to go to San Diego and I was locked in a basement with the instructors for five days in this gigantic encyclopedia of a book that where we had to go through all this stuff and really learn it and use it. And, okay, I’ve got it, I’ve got it, I’ve got it. So five day crash course it was, yeah.
[00:05:40] So I call my wife, I tell her what I’m doing and she goes, this sounds so interesting. I’m like, oh God, I’m glad you, you like it. So I fly home I plop down this big encyclopedia of a book and she opens it up, the page one, and she closes and she goes, I got all figured out. I’m an amiable. Everyone loves me.
[00:05:58] You’re a driver. You’re an [00:06:00] asshole. And I’m like, I spent five days and all that time learning this. You picked it up in 10 seconds from opening to page one? I don’t think so. That’s too funny. It’s really interesting, ’cause there’s other ways, there’s always something new coming out, like how to do something similar to this.
[00:06:21] And it’s always interesting how they are the same thing just wrapped in a different, wording as what you were just mentioning, with the four different styles. Yes. And I do think people do operate differently in different modes and somebody you might be dealing with, somebody who’s a driver at work and at home when they, or they have decisions that have to do with their family, which is different than decisions that have to do with work.
[00:06:47] They may be completely different. They may, they may take. More time, they may wanna feel more secure. So there, there’s a lot of other factors I think, that come into this. And to your [00:07:00] point the advisor or whoever’s dealing with someone as a prospect, you’ve gotta be, you gotta have your eyes and ears open for the things that they’re saying because they’ll tell you what their concerns are without a doubt.
[00:07:14] Yeah. And I think you’re right that people can be different. I’ll give you an example. My wife, who is a self-proclaimed amiable, definitely is that way and has been that way until about 10 years ago when she started her own business and she started realizing I need to make quicker decisions on so many different things that I used to have to do in the past. She became more like a driver in business, but yes. She still is very much an amiable. Now we talk about the motivators. Once you identify these people, and a great example and advisors. I know you’ve all had this experience where you sat down with that amiable person who’s so [00:08:00] fun and friendly and loving and wants to talk about your family and their family, et cetera.
[00:08:07] And then you start getting into the business conversation they give you the head nods and the smiles and it goes all the way through the entire process. And then finally it comes to time for you to close and say, okay, should we move forward with this? I think we might be able to move forward with this.
[00:08:23] However, before I make a decision, I wanna share this with my brother and see what he thinks. That’s great. What does your brother do? He’s a plumber. Yeah. Yeah. Alright, so the motivator for an amiable is there’s somebody that they rely on for advice. Under all circumstances. Now, advisors, if you just listen to what I just said, you’ve had this scenario happen to you, and I have to ask you, raise your hand if you actually close that business.
[00:08:54] You didn’t, you never do because when you finally go, when this person finally goes to their [00:09:00] brother or father or sister, or whoever it is for the advice, that person immediately goes on defense and says why wasn’t I brought into this early on? Why did you wait until after? You made your pitch?
[00:09:15] Were you trying to take advantage of my my, were relative, my friend, whoever it may be? This is what goes through their heads, so it’s important if you recognize the Amy Bull that you say, we’re about to have some conversations about life-changing decisions. Is there anybody in your life who you rely on for advice that we should involve from the very beginning?
[00:09:36] Doesn’t mean you’re gonna get the business, but it gives you a good chance. That’s really a great point. I think too, like if they are relying on people, it’s just human nature to protect the person. They’d rather discourage them from doing something and then they’re, they keep ’em safe rather than encourage ’em to do something that could possibly not work out.
[00:09:59] [00:10:00] And, even if there’s a huge upside there’s that protective nature that kicks in. And that’s really a good point. So get whoever that is in on the conversation so they can hear for the aimable. Yeah. So they can hear. And the funny thing is, if you ask that question, is there someone who, and they are an expressive or an analytic, you’re not gonna offend them by asking that question.
[00:10:23] Now with the driver, you might. Because a driver is always the one in charge. The driver is the one who leads the way and doesn’t need anybody’s, and doesn’t want anyone else’s opinion. So that one, you might rub the wrong way. However, I stress it’s really hard to mistake an amiable for a driver. They’re very different people.
[00:10:45] That’s really great insight. Do you have any stories you wanna share about some of the other types? I think it, when I do the when I do the wisdom training, I actually put up in a puzzle [00:11:00] format. Barack Obama, Donald Trump, Joe Biden. No, I didn’t actually put Joe Biden in that one.
[00:11:07] Hillary Clinton and Bill Clinton. And of course, ask. Which one’s, which now that we’ve gone through the facial clues and the uhhuh voice modulation. So as an analytic, you might expect a monotone voice and kind of almost just like a sentence that never really ends, it just dangles out there.
[00:11:30] A driver speaks in bullet points short to the point messages and expressive tells stories, right? They like to share anecdotes that inspire and motivate people. And Amiables of course want to support pretty much everyone who’s around them, their friends, their family, et cetera. So when you look at those four presidents of Hillary being almost president at one point, and you say, okay, what are they?[00:12:00]
[00:12:00] You have to start now, ask yourself, don’t think about how they campaigned. Think about how they actually governed. And it is amazing how people sitting there saying Barack Obama’s the great orator, which he is. And he talked about hope and change in his campaign. He must be expressive. And I said that’s how he campaigned.
[00:12:21] But is that how he governed? Gee, I can’t remember. That was so long ago. I’m racking my brain. So the very fir what was the very first crisis that he faced? Do you remember? I think it. Some, I know one of the crisis was a crash, the market crash and the banking crisis. So the very first crisis he faced was the deep water horizon.
[00:12:44] It was that in the Gulf of Mexico that was leaking oil and of course Fox News being Fox News, they had a camera on the damn thing every single night. The beginning and the end of news to remind everybody, he’s got this crisis going on. Yeah. How long did it take him to [00:13:00] actually do anything about it?
[00:13:03] I just don’t remember. It was 136 days. What was he doing? Was he sitting in his thumbs? No, he was doing tests after te environmental tests, political tests. He was a classic analytic. Who’s not gonna be rushed. They’re gonna be, they’re gonna give you their opinion when they’re done doing their analysis.
[00:13:25] And no one’s gonna tell them they’ve gotta go faster. And if you look at the way he governed, he was that way all the time. Whereas with Donald Trump, who of course as we know from the business world, came across as very much of a driver, right? You’re fired. That whole thing with the NBC show, he hasn’t governed that way.
[00:13:47] He’s probably the only President I’ve ever witnessed who still does the big rallies after he’s been elected. That’s usually something you do only to become elected. So that tells me he’s more [00:14:00] inspire and motivate on a regular basis. He also is shown to be a little more thin skinned than we thought he might be from the critics because he lashes back at them.
[00:14:09] That’s very expressive. So again, identifying how these people behave. As when they’re actually governing versus campaigning or in their personal life can be very different. Yeah. And I think it takes a lot of awareness, to even break that down takes a lot of practice. Yeah.
[00:14:30] Yeah. So tell us a little bit about the wisdom group this sounds very interesting. So the Wisdom training program was something I started back in 2011 and I’m sorry, no, 2009 when I was a wholesaler. And it was a way to help those advisors who were already bringing in business become much, much better.
[00:14:51] And we did see a trend for people who would go through the all day training program. It’s now a two day training program ’cause there’s so much more than we had back then. [00:15:00] And then we followed up with a 90 day challenge program, which would help to change your habits. Hopefully make some of these stick.
[00:15:06] Now, nobody should live through that challenge for the rest of their lives. It’s too rigorous. However, I think for 90 days you can actually do it. And what we found was on average advisors added about $30 million in new assets under management just during that first 12 months as a result of their efforts coming outta the challenge.
[00:15:30] Wow. That’s pretty significant. So we still have that available a as, as part of the pro, either as a standalone or as part of the ongoing program for people who do have a subscription. Very cool. Something I wanted to bring up, we were talking backstage about is Chris Voss and the technical empathy.
[00:15:50] Yes. How would you combine what you just went over with the four different motivating styles . It’s interesting. He actually [00:16:00] has his own version of the same thing. And instead of four, it’s eight, but, okay. Same idea. Whatever you’re comfortable with, either learn his learn what we do it’s gonna give you the same result.
[00:16:1] But I think it’s important with tactical empathy to help get what’s on someone’s mind, out of them during the sales process, rather than at the end of the sales process. So during the sales process, as you are identifying possibilities for recommendations, run it by them from a price standpoint, from a comfort standpoint, and of course, what are the consequences of making this decision?
[00:16:37] And then listen carefully, whatever it is they say to you, repeat it back in different language, but same message. Say, I think what I heard you say was this. Yes. Okay. But it appears, ’cause you can sometimes hear that they’re holding something back, but it appears that there’s still more [00:17:00] that you wanna share what’s on your mind.
[00:17:03] What’s, what is your biggest fear at this point? Is it a fear of being wrong or is it a fear of being wrong? Timing. These uncover all of the social challenges that inevitably we face as it comes time to close. And yet we’re not closing yet, we’re just designing. That’s really interesting because as you were speaking about it, I was wondering if some personality styles or motivating, motivator styles have different reactions.
[00:17:34] ’cause I could imagine that the driver may not appreciate the empathy. It’s very important not to be patronizing. It is important to Yes. Repeat back what they’re saying to you so you, they know, you understand what they’re saying. However, you’re right.
[00:17:51] One of the biggest challenges with drivers is they try to hurry you up. Come on, get to the point, let’s get to the end. But it, and that’s the challenge you have, is you’ve [00:18:00] gotta build trust. And if you go too fast, you didn’t build the trust, they’re not gonna trust you. And despite the fact that you did everything mechanically they’re gonna walk.
[00:18:10] You have to slow them down. The way you slow them down generally is you speak to the motivator, which is an elevation of their power. So whether it’s personal or it’s business, if you can demonstrate how you’re going to increase their power over the distribution of their assets at death, or the fact they know they’re not gonna run outta money, retirement, whatever it may be, everyone’s a little bit different.
[00:18:35] But if you can do that, you can generally get them to hang on there with you as you go through all the proof which is a trust building process that you can deliver what you say you can deliver. Interesting. I was curious if you have any stories that you wanna share with our listeners? Yes.
[00:18:56] So there was one advisor who, and think about [00:19:00] the timeframe, it was 2008, who was going through the program and had just finished. Of course it was the end of 2008, so everything was just dying, so I lived in Greenwich, Connecticut at the time, very wealthy New York City suburb, and this guy was pretty close by, so he decided he was gonna go try to meet wealthy people at the Ferrari dealership in Greenwich, Connecticut in late 2008.
[00:19:26] Now think about it, no one’s buying those luxury cars during that period of time. Bear Stearns had just collapsed, which was really impacted places like Greenwich County. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. All the Wall Street stuff, they all lived in that area and they were losing their jobs left and right.
[00:19:42] So people were not buying those cars. Instead they’re doing concerts and anything they could do to get people to sh show up for that, that event and just stay face to face with the salespeople. So one of the guys I trained went to this, [00:20:00] immediately connected with this one guy, and the guy goes.
[00:20:04] As a matter of fact, we’re I run a family office in the Midwest and we’re actually, we just fired our advisor. Would you like to come be interviewed? So he does. He goes there and of course he’s thinking and he’s in front of 12 people and they’re all firing questions out to him, rapid fire. And he’s sitting there thinking about the social styles of each and every one of them.
[00:20:28] And it’s challenging ’cause they’re talking over each other. Yeah. And he finally, this is time out. I think I have enough for this first meeting. I’d like to chew on my thoughts and come back to you with some suggestions. Can we just stop for now and come back later after we address all of this? Yeah.
[00:20:50] And it really was him coming back to Greenwich saying, help, this is a whole lot. Help me sort this out. So he ends up leaving. [00:21:00] Going back to this place in the Midwest, does it again. They start throwing all these weird questions to him again. He doesn’t know how to answer. He ends it again.
[00:21:08] Comes back, finally calls the main guy that he first met and said, what’s going on? We were testing him. You were testing me. Yeah. We had the Northern Trust guy here. We had the UBS guy here with the Merrill Lynch guy here. All of ’em went for the kill like within the first two hours. You’ve done great.
[00:21:29] You walked away from the first meeting because there was stupid questions being asked. That was intentional. The second meeting, ’cause there were more stupid questions being asked that was intentional. You can come back now and we won’t do it to you again. He did get the business. It was literally $80 million NASA management from one very wealthy family in the Midwest.
[00:21:49] I think he still has them to clients today. I’m not sure. Wow. Talked to him in a while. But again, it was the implementation of noticing each. Persons social [00:22:00] styles, understanding what’s gonna motivate them to be open and honest. And of course, you have to start dealing with family conflict. And that’s, that becomes really challenging for any one person to do.
[00:22:10] Yeah. Wow. That’s such a cool story. But the fact that he didn’t allow himself to be rushed and was like, I’m gonna set that. He did a nice job. He really did. Yeah. That’s an awesome story. I know we’re coming to the end of our time.
[00:22:24] So going back to the social styles you mentioned watching poor cues, the tone of voice, the body language even pauses when people talk, even facial clues, believe it or not.
[00:22:35] If you look carefully, if I’m an analytic, they always clench their eyebrows together to the point of where the two lines. Are always here, even when they’re relaxed, amiables smile a lot, right? So they get the kind of the crow’s feet and the eyes expressives, see the up and down.
[00:22:53] So you get that, the horizontal lines across the forehead and drivers, they’re poker players. You don’t see any lines at [00:23:00] all. So again, that’s not a hundred percent accurate, but at least it gives you clues to help you assess what they might be. So interesting. Folks, we’re at our stopping point today, and I’d like to thank everybody for listening.
[00:23:16] This was so fascinating. I wanna hear more. And if you, our listening audience would like to find out more, you can go to the advisors business hour.com. Actually, the, there’s no the it’s advisors business hour.com/wisdom training to find out more and to work with Jeff on this. Thanks Sherry. Thank you, Jeff.
This episode explores how advisors can better understand client psychology, identify social styles, and use tactical empathy to maintain momentum throughout the sales process.
